He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
