Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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