I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I still have a little drunk in my system
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
