I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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