IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
