Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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