He disabled his match.com account in front of me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
