i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
