You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
