Say something about gay babies.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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