I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
