that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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