I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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