people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
