i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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