Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
