the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have post one night stand depression
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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