just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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