when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
