saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
