Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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