No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
