We're facebook friends in real life
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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