It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
