Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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