my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
