Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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