You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
