Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
