Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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