some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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