To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize