you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
