My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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