I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i out mim tonsoeep
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
