I'm laying in your front yard are you home
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Edward fifth and chaser hands
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i think my cat just said my name.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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