Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
