What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
