I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
