well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
