I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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