She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
