i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
