I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
