The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
