why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
