so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
