Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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