my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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