She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
