Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
and she was petting her beer can
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
