so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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