I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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