My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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