We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
