Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
