If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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