Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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