I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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