hell yes lets make some ravioli
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
