OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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