Say something about gay babies.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
