So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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