The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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