Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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