can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
